Hey friends, and welcome back to Unmasking the Heart for Change, where we dive into real stories behind transformation, one heart to heart at a time. I'm your host, Tammy Winstead, and I'm so thankful you've tuned in to be with me today. Today we're unmasking a moment that every single one of us will face at some point.
The moment when you feel like you just CAN'T anymore, and I don't mean a bad day or a passing frustration. I'm talking about that deep down soul level urge to walk away from something you once cared deeply about. Let's face it, it's August. The air feels heavier, the calendar is packed.
The to-do list seems to multiply overnight. Kids are heading back to school. New work demands are landing in your lap, and the energy you started the year with is running low. You wake up tired. You go to bed tired, and somewhere in the middle of your day a quiet whisper shows up saying, "maybe I'm done", or "maybe I just don't have it in me anymore."
Here's the thing, no one tells you. August burnout is real for parents, business owners, people in ministry, teachers gearing up for a new school year, or just anyone trying to keep life together. This month can feel like the tipping point.
We've all powered through the first half of the year. Survive summer schedule shifts. Handled every responsibility. And now the exhaustion isn't just physical, it's emotional, and it's mental. So today we're going to unmask that feeling. We're gonna talk about what it really means when you wanna walk away.
I'm gonna share some stories from my own life, both the times I stayed and the times I did walk away. And I'll give you a few heart level tools for how to keep going when burnout is loud and hope feels quiet.
Let's start here. When you feel like quitting, it's rarely about the surface level problem. You may think you just wanna quit your job because the workload is just too heavy, or you may think you wanna give up on a dream because it's taking too long. You might even think you're done with a relationship because the spark just isn't there anymore. But in my experience, both personally and from listening to others, those surface level frustrations are usually just symptoms of something deeper.
Sometimes it's burnout out. Burnout isn't always an explosion. Sometimes it's a slow leak. You've been pouring out more than you've been taking in, giving and serving and showing up for everyone else while quietly running on empty. At first, it's subtle. You sigh more than you used to. You catch yourself zoning out in conversation. That spark the one that used to light you up. It feels a lot dimmer. You tell yourself a weekend off, we'll fix it. But then Monday comes and the weight is still there. If that's you right now, friend, hear me out. There's nothing weak about feeling this way. It's not a sign that you're failing. It's a sign that you've been carrying far too much for far too long without refilling your own cup. And the most powerful thing you can do in this moment is not push harder. It's to pause, to breathe, and to rest without guilt.
To remember that you are so much more than what you do or produce. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It's survival. It's strength. You matter. Your health matters. Your joy matters, and the world needs the version of you that is whole, not the version running on fumes.
You deserve to give the best of yourself to yourself first. That's not selfish. It's self love and friend. You are worthy of being loved by you too. And here's the thing. Sometimes what we call burnout isn't only about being tired. Sometimes it's our soul's way of telling us we're in the wrong place altogether.
You've grown, you've evolved, but the role you're in, the dream you're chasing, or the relationship you're showing up for hasn't grown with you. What once felt exciting, now feels heavy. Not because you're incapable, but because it's no longer aligned with who you are becoming. That's misalignment, and it can be just as exhausting as burnout.
It's like wearing shoes that used to fit perfectly, but now pinch. With every step, sure, you can force yourself to keep walking in them, but over time it's going to leave you blistered and limping.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to admit this no longer fits me. And that's okay. If you are realizing you might be in that space of misalignment. Friend, take a deep breath. This isn't the end. It's an invitation.
An invitation to step into the next version of who you're meant to be. Misalignment doesn't mean you failed. It doesn't erase the value of what you've done so far. It simply means you've outgrown the space you're in. And outgrowing sometimes is a sign of life, not loss.
You have permission to pivot. You have permission to explore. You have permission to say, this was right for me once, but it isn't anymore, and that doesn't make you flaky, disloyal, or ungrateful. It makes you honest and being honest with yourself matters too.
Not being authentic and honest with yourself will weigh you down and keep you from showing up as the best version of yourself. So instead of forcing yourself to shrink, to fit where you are, start asking What would it look like to grow into where I'm meant to be next?
And then take one small step toward that place. You don't have to have the whole plan. You just have to start moving in the direction of alignment. And sometimes friend, it's not burnout. It's not even misalignment. Sometimes it's fear. In disguise, we tell ourselves, "I think I'm done". But what we really mean is I'm scared to keep going, scared of failing, scared to be seen trying and not getting it right. Scared of what might happen if we actually succeed, because success can be just as intimidating as failure.
Fear in disguise is sneaky. It dresses itself up as logic, convincing you that walking away is the smart choice. It whispers, "you're too tired." "This isn't working." " Maybe this just isn't for you." But deep down, it's not about whether you can, it's about whether you believe you're enough to keep going. If you're in that space right now where fear is whispering in your ear, let me speak something over you. Fear is a liar, but it can also be a teacher. It shows up not to prove you're incapable, but to point to the very place you are meant to grow next, you don't have to have all the answers before you take the next step. Courage isn't the absent of fear. It's choosing to move forward with it still in the room, and every single time you've been afraid in the past, you've still managed to get here. To this moment listening right now, that means you've survived 100% of your hardest day so far. When fear tells you you're not ready, answer back. Maybe I'm not ready for everything, but I'm ready for the next step.
Remember, friend, you just need to take that one step at a time, and that's how fear loses its power. And if you can't quite believe in yourself yet, borrow my belief in you until you can. I know you're capable. I know you're strong and I know this moment, this scary, uncomfortable stretching moment might just become the chapter you're most proud of.
So whether it's burnout, misalignment, or fear in disguise, here's the truth. I've come to understand. The urge to walk away is often a signal. Not a sentence, it's a sign that something needs to shift. Maybe your pace, maybe your boundaries, maybe your perspective.
So before you burn it all down, I want you to pause and ask yourself, is this truly the end or is this my call to rest? Reset. And reimagine.
I'll be honest with you, there's been more than one season where I felt the urge to quit. One in particular stands out. See, I was in the middle of what should have been an exciting chapter. There were new opportunities, a project I cared deeply about people cheering me on, and yet I would wake up in the morning with this heaviness in my chest.
It felt like I was pushing a boulder uphill every single day. On the outside, everything looked fine. I was smiling in photos, showing up where I was supposed to, hitting the deadlines, but inside. I was done. I was tired, disconnected, and quietly listing all the reasons it would make sense to just stop. And I'll tell you the truth, I almost did.
What pulled me back wasn't some big dramatic turnaround. It was me showing up honestly to the people I trusted the most and speaking my truth out loud to them. It was small, simple reminders from people who saw me when I felt invisible. A friend who text me just to say she was proud of me. A customer who reached out to say that an item that she had purchased weeks before and gifted to a friend had moved the recipient to tears.
Those little sparks reminded me that my why was bigger than my weariness. Looking back, I realized I wasn't meant to quit. I was meant to pause, to breathe, to step back far enough to see the big picture again. That season taught me the power of staying when you still have fight left in you.
But there was another season just as defining where staying would've cost me more than leaving ever could. Let me tell you about that one. In August of 2020, I made the bold choice to walk away from corporate America. There were a lot of reasons more than I can list out or care to share, honestly. But ultimately, it came down to this. I knew that if I wanted to keep growing and keep becoming the absolute best version of myself, the person I was truly meant to be. Then I had to leave the place where I felt the walls were closing in.
I knew I didn't belong there anymore and that I needed to challenge myself to grow, and I knew that staying would've cost me far more than I was willing to pay.
My peace, my joy, and maybe even my sense of self. That season also happened to be my son's senior year of high school. I remember sitting him down and giving him what I thought was gonna be the mom pep talk, telling him that this was the last year before stepping into adulthood, encouraging him to make every moment count because as of August, 2021, he'd be off to college pursuing what he wanted for his life. And then with that straightforward honesty we've always had in our family, he looked me in the eyes and said, "Mom, when are you going to allow yourself to do that?"
Wow. That question hit me harder than anything else could have. That very next morning I walked into work and handed in my two week notice. Yes, it was awkward. I had just gotten a raise the Friday before, but I knew it was the right decision for my sanity, for my future, for my peace. Friend, you are allowed to set boundaries for yourself, and I highly encourage you to do so. Your future self will be so thankful that you did!
And here's the truth, the very thing I thought I was hiding so well. The exhaustion, the disconnect, the burnout. Truth is, I wasn't hiding at all from the people who love me most.
And that's the thing about true burnout. No matter how hard you try to straighten your mask and pretend everything is fine. Your soul starts crying out, and eventually someone who loves you will hear it even if you can't speak it out loud just yet.
So let's talk about why August feels like a breaking point for so many of us. Well, friend, here's what I've noticed about why this month tends to feel so heavy. Part of it is simply the accumulation of the year. So far we start January full of vision, energy and big goals. But by the time we get to August, the adrenaline has worn off and we've been running at full speed for months, and now we're running on fumes. And it's not just that. We've also had life throwing its own distraction at us. Sometimes it's summer schedules that throw us off our normal routine, or financial pressures we didn't plan for. Maybe it's unexpected challenges that showed up without an invitation. One or two of these things might be manageable, but when they all pile up. It's exhausting. On top of that, most of us have been in output mode for far too long. We've been giving, serving, producing, and doing, and not taking the time to refill our own cup. You can only run on empty for so long before it catches up with you, and then to top it all off the finish line still feels so far away. December is out there somewhere, but right now it can feel like you're stuck on a long stretch of highway with no rest stop in sight, and when you can't see the end, it's so easy to lose your pace. That's why midyear is actually the perfect time to pause, reset, and break your goals into smaller, more manageable steps. It gives you something closer to aim for so you can keep moving forward without burnout.
When all that collides, it's no wonder August is a prime month for burnout. And if you've been filling it, let me just say this, you're not lazy. You're not weak, you're not failing, you're human, and there are many right there with you.
Whether they feel safe enough to unmask it or not, you're definitely not alone. So friend, if you're listening right now and you're nodding, because you know exactly what I'm talking about, this episode is just for you. You might be tired, you might feel unseen. You might be questioning if all this is even worth it, but hear me out.
Your current season is not your final chapter. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to not give up, but simply take the next small step, not the whole staircase. Just the next step. Here are a few quick shifts you can make today to keep moving forward.
Number one, pause without guilt. Rest is not quitting. We live in a world that worships hustle and glorifies exhaustion, where slowing down is often mistaken for falling behind or being lazy. But here's the truth. Rest is not the opposite of progress. It's the fuel that makes progress possible. A pause is not a period at the end of your story. It's a comma. It's the moment you catch your breath so you can keep moving forward with clarity and strength.
When burnout whispers. "You can't stop". That's often the exact sign that you need to lay it down. Take that nap step outside and let the sun hit your face. Give yourself permission to stop without adding guilt to your already heavy load because I rested you is a more resilient you and sometimes rest is the best gift that you can give yourself.
Number two, reconnect with your why. Remember why you started when the weight of what you're doing feels too heavy. It's easy to forget what you picked it up in the first place, but your why is the heartbeat of your journey.
It's the thing that makes the hard days worth it. Maybe it's a vision you had years ago, a promise you made to yourself, a dream you wanted to prove possible, or the people you vowed to show up for. When you reconnect with your why, you breathe life back into the embers that burnout tries to snuffle out. Write it down. Speak it out loud, put it somewhere. You'll see it every day because when you remember why you started, you'll find the strength to keep going even when the path feels uphill. One of the ways I keep my why visible is with a vision board, and I also have post-it notes with affirmations and spaces where I tend to spend most of my day and need the most encouragement.
Number three. Lighten the load. You don't have to carry it all, delegate, delay, or even delete what isn't urgent. Somewhere along the way we've convinced ourselves that being strong means carrying everything alone, but friend strength isn't the weight you carry.
It's in knowing what to sit down. You are not failing, if you hand off a responsibility to someone else. You are not weak, if you push something to the next month or decide that it's not worth it all together. Burnout thrives. When your plate is overflowing, take a honest look at everything you're carrying.
What can someone else handle? What can wait, what can be erased completely? Your worth is not measured by how much you can hold onto. It's measured by how well you care for the person holding it all. That's you. Sometimes burnout is a sign that you need to take a look at all that you have going on and possibly step away from the things that are no longer serving you. You don't have to continue to be the one that carries it simply because you've always carried it. Put it down, and if no one else picks it up, then so what?
Maybe no one else saw the value in it being carried anyway, and that's okay too. If they do fill the void, then they can choose to be the one that picks it up. That doesn't always have to be you. Give yourself permission to just put it down. This year, I was approached about getting involved in something that I immediately knew I would not connect well or align with. I was already doing a similar volunteer work with another school, and adding this on my plate would be more than I knew I could handle. Immediately following the offer, I simply looked at the person and said, "no, I'm not interested, but thank you for thinking of me", and I walked away. That's not the normal response that I would give. But allowing myself to say no. Is the very moment I felt the response was very liberating and freeing. It's honestly made it easier to quickly say no when other things come up that I know are not for me.
Number four, invite encouragement. Let someone speak life into you when you can't find the word yourself. Burnout has a way of making your own inner voice go quiet or worse turns against you. In those moments, you need people who will speak truth into your heart when you can't find it on your own.
Let someone remind you of who you are, what you overcome, and why you matter. This isn't weakness, it's wisdom. Even the strongest leaders, the most determined dreamers, need someone in their corner. Reach out to a friend, a mentor, or even a stranger who's been where you are. Sometimes the words that heal us the most are the ones we didn't know we needed to hear. And when someone offers that encouragement, receive it. Let it in. Thank them for truly seeing you and let them know how much their words truly mattered and impacted your day.
One of the greatest gifts I've ever given myself is surrounding my life with mentors I can truly trust. I keep that circle very small, not because I'm hiding anything or masking who I am, but because I refuse to let just anyone speak over me or into my life.
I'm very intentional and protective. About who I allow into that space, because I've learned that the wrong voice can limit your perspective and confine your thinking. Not every opinion deserves access to your heart or your. I'll never forget a moment that drove this home for me. There was someone I once admired, a colleague whose career growth I respected. We worked in the same space and I interacted with them often. Then one day they walked into my office and offered unsolicited advice, completely unrelated to my work performance on a topic I would never have gone to them for guidance on why, because I didn't respect the way they showed up in that particular area of their life. In that moment, I realized that while they were book smart and knowledgeable, in many ways, they lacked the emotional intelligence I valued and tried to live by.
From that day forward, I saw them differently. It was a powerful reminder. Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself is learning when to mentally turn down the volume. You know, like Charlie Brown's teacher, voice. Friend, that ensures you don't internalize words that were never meant to guide you in the first place. If burnout is setting in right now, I need you to remember this. You have already survived really hard days. You've walked through storms you didn't think you could weather, and you came out on the other side.
That means you are stronger today in this moment than you even realize. I know you can make it through this because you've proven it before, and one day you're gonna tell the story of how you almost walked away but didn't, or maybe you're gonna tell the story of how you did walk away and how that decision became one of the best, most life-changing choices you ever made for yourself.
Either way, this moment is not the end of your story. It's just a turning point, and you get to decide which way you turn. Remember friend. You're not just surviving. You're learning to lead yourself with compassion, and that changes everything.
This week I want you to take inventory of your heart. Is there something you've been tempted to walk away from? Ask yourself, is it truly over or is it a signal to pause, to breathe and adjust? Or is it a sign to let go and walk away? Friend, your peace is worth protecting. Your purpose is worth fighting for, and you exactly as you are or worth the space and grace to heal from burnout.
Well, friends, thank you so much for taking the time to sit with me today and for allowing me to unmask my own moments of burnout and the lessons that each one has taught me along the way, my hope is that something you heard today reminds you that it's okay to pause, to feel, and to listen when your heart is telling you something needs to change.
So give yourself permission to truly feel those feelings when they show up. Because often it's your peace, your very own soul, raising its voice to get your attention. Offer yourself grace in those moments, give yourself the space to dig into what's really at the root of it. And if you choose to walk away from something, don't be afraid to leave the mask behind. That's what I did, and it was the best gift I've ever given myself. Showing up as my true, authentic self has opened more doors and brought me more freedom than I ever found in pretending.
If this episode has resonated with you, then please share it with someone else who might be walking through burnout. Sometimes the simple act of showing up for one another is the greatest gift we can give. Friend, remember, you are worth showing up for fully, honestly, and without the mask. Thank you again for joining me as I unmask my own burnout story. And remember, change begins within and it starts one heart to heart at a time.
I'll see you next week. Bye.